i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Randomize
