I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
try to milk me bitch
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