What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize