Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
