I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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