I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
