thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
pray to the hookup gods
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize