so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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