Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
