oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
