He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
