i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
