Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
