look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
