i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
