I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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