I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
50% drunk capacity currently
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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