I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
