You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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