Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he told me I talked like a deaf person
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
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My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
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Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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