I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
