Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
