My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
