you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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