walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He did a backflip because drugs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
