and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
