Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
