God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So squirting runs in the family.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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