No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize