That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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