____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize