Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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