I wanna bring you to show and tell
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize