It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
