Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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