you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize