Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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