he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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