You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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