Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize