the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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