I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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