Well apparently he's into motor boating.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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