like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
