can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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