It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
