Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
