I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
