I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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