Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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