Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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