If i come over, it means nothing
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize