Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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