Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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