I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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