We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
