The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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