I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize