on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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