I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
