u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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