ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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