this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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