it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
