Do you still have your period?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
