Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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